Life

Last night I was watching an episode of Downton Abbey, season 3.  (last year's season).  One of the daughter's died of eclampsia after childbirth.  Oh my, her blue face...it immediately threw flashbacks of Nolan into my mind, turning blue and going limp last July 15th during his anaphylactic reaction.  

Panic ensued.  I was hot and sweaty, thought I was going to throw up.   

He almost died.  Again.  

Stopping the "what if" thoughts is such work sometimes.   

What if he had died...what if he does die...it will happen again, it is only a matter of time...  

I haven't had this come up in a while, it really took me by surprise and threw me for a loop.  It is just so intense. 

Anyway, I am hugging him extra close again today, as that reminder was all too real for me.  

He is so very special; life is so very precious.